disconnect

-------------------------------
pisces.
scorpio.
-------------------------------

----------------
sparks.
tingles.
and the absence of it all.
----------------

let me hear the words

dear d**,

i am writing this not to bitch about the past but to let you know that i miss you. because it is in this time when i feel like i'm no good and can't do anything right that i remember you. i remember you and how much you believed in your girl. i remember us and the petty fights we had just because i remained unfaithful to me. i remember you and how you used to say "pwede for once, mu believe ka sa imung self?".. and how i get silent but cry at the other end of the line.

now i am going through the same, sad, old drill. except that it's not your voice i hear. and lifting the phone only to listen to such an uncomforting dial tone is the least thing i'd do. but it doesn't take much guts to confess that i need you right now. more than ever. i need you for a replay. for you to say that you still believed in me after all these years.

i loved you. more so when you showed me off to your friends. and each time you wrap me in your arms to save me from too much drama. like a prince fighting for a kingdom with his princess in it. and like how daddies use to hug their little girls.

i hated you for causing me angina pectorises and heart strokes since sophomore years. more so when you sought for better pastures in the arms of another. but whenever i hated you, i stab myself twice. yet god must have known my only yearning.

you came back. and i took you in again. but our worlds were too different. our symphonies too harmonious they couldn't blend. and the love notes we used to dedicate to each other weren't meant to be sung anymore. already non-existent.

and even in memory, you still manage to reimplant the same intensity of pain on this night. after so many years of calling it quits, my mind reruns itself to everything. to us. acting in constant force against the pleas of my heart not to.

we have long buried the past and reopening the casket would weave another story. would mean another thing. i am happy for you... and your girl. i feel happy that at last you stick to only one. she must be that great... coz she makes you hold on for too long. counting years never seemed to be part of your vocabulary back then in highschool. although i am certainly uncertain that you have abandoned your polygamous nature for good.

it's been 4 years since you took my ♥ by storm... but since that august night, i have never been the same. never will be.

i miss you, by.
i need you.

and just so you know, i loved you the most.

----
he'll be unable to read this. i just needed to vent out.

TO YOU

who sees the pain behind the smiles i fake

who knows that i'd prefer anything but peanut butter

....................that i'd choose leftover ice over brought drinks

....................that i'd prefer bigbang over cloud9

................... that i'd be mad being teased with someone i don't like and would never like (even if we were the last persons on earth)

who resurrects an unforgettable melody

who can never stand heavy drama but still did at some point ;)

who's twice as vain

who makes me mad and happy all at the same time

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

and

many more to cum

hahaha

hoi

---
so near yet so far.

5-star night

i love my Halubilo 2007 night. ask me why and i could definitely blabber a million reasons. as much as i want to story tell every single detail, i can't. i am too battered to write and even, think. and am too blushed to even reminisce. hence, i am going to bed... with memories intact.
=D

---
next time.

ethics

no one in my life has held on to their i love you's

--
people leave.
because they choose to.

♥

50% of what i want to say gets through black and white. and the remaining percent gets trapped in my mind. but PARIS, the city of lights and romance.. of public kisses and of sweet candlelights, is such a good thing to miss. gawd, for all the burdens nursing has with it who wouldn't want an escape? i need to go to paris. (ambisyosa!haha) but not now. not yet. and not until you're going. for everything done and undone, i still love paris. it occupies the biggest part of me. 50% and more.

overhaul

old: mental foreplay

>believes writing numbs the mind from all the hurting

>and gives the writer a valid absence from reality

>is into identifying the gray matter between the black and the white

>fascinated by astrology

>loves reading Sheldon books

>but salutes Paolo Coelho

>tries hard to answer the "what if's" with "maybe's"... (until i run out of them)

>knows the wisdom in being pessimistic and staying that way >proponent of "blessed are those who expect less, they shall have more", the the 9th Beatitude

>believes flirting is an art

>NBA fanatic >goes nuts over Chad Michael Murray

>and is crazy over James lafferty

>vulnerable when in love and totally defenseless to the truth >loves bisrock >J's guilty pleasure

>brgeoning model

>haphap! zero visibility at night

>nocturnal gal a.k.a wakwak

>anti-peanut

>ice lover >gives Snow Patrol, Hinder, Silverstein, Teddy Geiger, and Gavin DeGraw a two-thumbs up!

>thinks that critics only mess things even more

>wishes an escapade to Paris

>believes that special meetings are planned by the souls even before the bodies meet

07/07/07

THEY...


Myspace Tickers at WishAFriend.com

---
acute heart pain
related to longoria-parker wedding
as evidenced by sleep pattern disturbances.
and tears.

OA. haha ;)

starstrucked

kiray 2007 fever

remittent. intermittent. relapsing.