rnb

it hurts when two people have battled it for the world, hanged on to each other but eventually had to give up.
it hurts when you have become witnesses of how their love has shifted and matured.

they knew how to tie shoelaces by themselves but chose to do such for the other.
they knew how cruel reality could get but they held on. each one was each other's strength.
they knew how strong the forces were in drifting them apart still, they chose to fight with whatever that's left for them.

but as people, someone had loosen grip. someone had been away while one was trying to fight it sword by sword.

and though it may not be too evident here, for it has known that my words fail some, it is just so sad that the love i had witnessed to have made it all through was the same love i had to see falling apart.

it hurts to see love end because yours was more than just a love story.

newest bff

on boring class hours, i have the leaves of my notebook as a trash bin. a familiar territory where i dump emotional overloads. i form hearts, draw circles and decide which name fits perfectly to both shapes. i quote thoughts i know will be useful and when words are scarce, i simply dot. but overtime, i have ceased viewing notebooks as mere things. they have evolved to be the ultimate companion.
the friend. my bestfriend. i can rant, profess feelings, bitch and bitch more and even doodle--they wouldn't do a thing. and it is never their lapse of emotion nor the lack of heart that causes them to be silent. they are the way they are because they were made to listen. their black lines were made horizontally straight so that anyone who writes on them has straightened up issues with himself. that is why people are brutally honest when they choose to battle with words. when they choose to write, they bare their souls out. at times they attempt, like water to drown facts too nicely, the truth still stays afloat. they try too hard. we try too hard... so much that we forget it was the very reason why jose died.
he was too honest.

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im still writing on notebooks.
=*

you know who you are

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i dont know how to hold you anymore.
it's so frustrating for me to see you so sad and knowing that there's nothing i can do
but watch and wait for you to be okay.
i luv u kim. hope you'll be ok soon, i miss you.
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sent: 22 may 2008
12:43 pm

watching and waiting for me to be fine wouldn't be that hard.
you i know id recover. as i always do.

though our 13 min catching up never actually catched up, i know i'll be seeing youtomorrow.
we'll do the real thing, then.
and you know, we do it like no other.
luv u too.
:)

june ohhh eight.

*some girls are just born with glitter in their veins*
(l-r: anby. tina. em. kim)
(dated: june oh eight)

...

i used to think of you that way, you know. like the sun.. my personal sun. you balanced the clouds nicely for me. the clouds i can handle. but i cant fight with an eclipse.

-bella.jacob
twilight.