there and not there

11.14.09

I am not who I once was, because we aren't who we once were.

cheers

to going on and breathing again.
=)

?

sometimes it feels like you are an idea my mind just had the control to freeze. and by the time my logic lands on such warm surface, you pop out right in front of me
and i
suddenly do not know what to do.

240 months

my pre-birthday syndrome consists of recalling the year that has passed, the memories, and the events prior to the even bigger ones.
all along, there was the constant tag of nostalgia. it was something i cannot get rid of, something i cannot set aside.there is the rush of sadness and euphoria. rolled into each other at intervals and sometimes both at the same time. normally, i would have screamed but i chose to silently play along its thread.

i expected the day to be plain, flat, simple. the way all my days have been since then. i never got myself to think of surprises, or of people coming over at the last minute, nor of the numerous online greetings. i never planned plans.
but to my disbelief, all the thinking fell flat on my face.
at 8am,
i woke up and my world was singing a beautiful birthday cake.

at noon,
it were all pork bellies, fried cheese, kalamares, panama, raspberry, brian's ribs and vera's rice.

at dinner,
it was celebrated exactly on a moon where it all had began.

at exactly 12mn,
i ended up my kindof 27 with 2 of the bestest people in the world.

ten-twennie seven was a surprise i can never get over with..
i may not get everything i want.

but for now, i know i have everything i need.