Dearest ABCs,

disclaimer: this isn’t about having regrets. this isn’t about wanting to go back. this is about taking advantage of the experiences, reliving the stories for bashful seconds, and squeezing the juice.it may still sound juicy. but this is truly about moving on.  


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I see you. I see her. Then I remember just about everything of the old times: the touch, the scent, the sensation of you. I wanted to linger for a while but then I take a step back and realize that we’ve used up our chances. You’ve used up all of yours. And I had to stop hurting and losing myself, all at the same time, over and over again. 

I had to breathe. 

*****************************************I don’t care what you think about me. I don’t think about you at all.
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i.I hope you’re together because of love and not for mere excuses a child can offer. I know he’s better of the man now than he was when I knew him. for the first time in his life, he is standing up for the family he brought alive. And I hope he continues to be better and stand up for you, no matter the cost.ii.
You were cactus, I was rain. you = needed me, and i, =  you. longed for. needed. wanted. desired.

I was enthralled with your charm and you, painstakingly trailed with my words and the world i created with them. 

Looking back, I knew you just made the right thing. You stood up for family. How was i to contest that? How could i contest that I was reduced to mere online messengers, accidental meetings of the eye and nothing less? Nothing less of what we used to have? What we used to believe that we had?

Eventually, we landed to our own guillotine.

Was it known from the start, forecasted, or simply a fact we refused to concede in, I can no longer remember. 


*end*