saag

in what seemed to be a series of winding paths and labyrinths of dirt roads and endless savannahs, i got lost. lost. for a reason i do not know of. for a reason unknowing of itself. but somehow, somewhere, i believed a reason existed. probably something my mind cannot grasp. or something i cannot articulate in the real sense.
yet, i still believed.
as i ran and ran to find my way back, what was once unknown became familiar to me.
realization then snapped.
the winding paths speak up for my mind-fickle.
the labyrinths- my heart and every bit of torturing emotion it has battled-- lust, jealousy, guilt, remorse, pride. and love.
and the seemingly never ending savannahs for my thoughts. my words. my foreplays (green as they are)- they who always find their way in but never their way out.
i am me.
and yet no matter how much i know myself, i end up losing the surface to the tip of the iceberg... my identity to questions.
i still get lost. lost. inside my head. winded up. desperately trapped in the crossfire between mind and matter.. head and heart. prisoned by my thoughts that seem to run faster than my metabolism. living my life simply meant being lost.
as i craved for an escape, what was once familiar became too familiar.

i needed to get lost
to find my way home
to know the road more
to know me more

and yes, life is too complex to be defined by just one time instances.
so the next time i get lost, i can only hope i could still find the way back.
and the reason to.