resurrect

dear blog,
i have abandoned you for exactly 5 months and 2days now.
i left you because you dwelled so much of the past.
you were so full of someone i assumed i was with. your words, your speech paralleled him as if he were a god. and even with those months of not writing, even with the silence, it was obvious of whom you beated for.

but what niel has to know is that you were the only one holding on as i walked away. it was not me who felt for james, neither my heart. it was you.
i was ready to completely forget when you pull me in again by being mute.
and because i was afraid too of losing my soul, i wrote until there was nothing to write. there was nothing to write because the feelings have dried. there was nothing to write because even from the start, there was never us.

what niel has to know is that whatever were posted here before he came, do not hold true for the present anymore. my heart had long enough flew from the vice and has find its home in him. he needs to know that i never had something real until i had him.

he needs to know that i love him.

and due to constantly hopping over tez and raph's accounts, i couldnt help get jealous on how everyone has been upblog-dating.

ergo, the decision to reopen.

new posts.
new start.
new love.


and take note, it's eiffel on the left. id change that look but only if i find a better one to trade over paris.