the chicken that i am

I am afraid.

Afraid that I may not survive my next battle with pain… Afraid that I, too may become numb along with all the insensitivity revolving… Afraid that my reasons cannot define themselves any longer… afraid to cross paths with an emotion I know would only spread wrath to my heart: love.

Someone asked me how much I love someone. I was silent. No single emotion was spared. No word was uttered. Nothing was said.

And that someone asked me again.

And again.

silence was the only definite answer.

But…

How I wanted to scream my immeasurable love.

How I wanted to say ‘twas nothing compared to my past.

How I wanted to whisper him those three fuckin’ words.

I wanted to but then again, I am afraid.